Deleted Scene
by Shipnose
Summary: Naomily. One shot. Not exactly a fanfic. I just got tired of waiting for some talented writer to write about the deleted scene in S4 E4 so I wrote this as a protest, hoping someone will take my example to do a better job.:P Rated M for safety.


**Disclaimer: **

I do not own Skins, Emily, Naomi, Katie or any other characther that may be mentioned in this story. One sentence was taken from the song "Never Been Hurt Before" by Sara Melson. It´s kinda obvious wich one it is, I don't own it either.

**Deleted Scene – Season 4**

Today Naomi told everyone that she slept with Sophia and that I'm punishing her for it. And then she looked at me with pleading eyes and said, "Em?", like it is up to me to make it all right again. My response was the same since the day I found out she cheated, I walked away. I just don't know how to handle this.

So I went upstairs, changed my wet clothes and guilt took over me. And tears start to come as I knew they would, they just feel natural these days. They don't come alone though, despair always follows. I just wish I knew what to do about us, about me and Naomi.

I can't bring myself to forgive her and I can't leave her, why is this so hard? I have to decide it already, this is destroying us, this is destroying me. I kissed a girl for the second time in my life today and I felt nothing more than the taste of smoke from her mouth. I did it out of spite, so Naomi could feel a little of what I am forced to feel every single moment. But I don't like doing it, I just act like this because I have no idea of how to deal with this.

That is the reason I've been like Effy now, If I'm not high, I am drunk, there is no alternative. It's easier than thinking, it is easier than figuring out what to do to make your life get back to what you want it to be. This is SO not like me.

I stay like this for a little while, just expecting my tears will stop at some point. Worst case scenario: I stop drinking liquids, let's see how I can still cry after that. Then I hear some noise and someone opens the door. At first I am relieved that it's Katie, I can't look at Naomi right now, but then I remember, she is going to make a picnic out of this.

I prepare myself for the speech, the "I told you so" and etc, but they never come. She just lies besides me, pulls my hand and hugs me. She doesn't speak, she doesn't argue, she doesn't even call Naomi a bitch. I am so grateful for this, I hug her back, that is what I've been needing all this time, someone to understand what I'm going through, someone that comprehends that I am being so different because I reached a dead end, I don't know where to go from here.

We have just come back from our old house. We went there to find mom, and bring our family together again. It was nice, I missed them and I didn't even know it until today. Jesus, I even missed James, how did this happen? Life is unpredictable, that is for sure.

The best moment was seeing mom and dad getting back together. You have to admire those two, they really stick to what everyone promises to do when they fall in love. They have ups and downs, they disappoint each other and annoy each other frequently, but they don't give up, they know that life wouldn't be fulfilling if they weren't together. And that is what matters most, isn't it? Isn't it, Emily?

Then it hits me, hard, I need to talk to Naomi. Something I've been avoiding for almost a month now, but I need to. Because, from all the people I miss, she is the one I will always miss the most. Without her it's living in waiting, waiting for the next moment I will spend with her. I can't stand this suffering anymore, it's not doing any good, to neither of us. I ask Katie to come with me to the house, I tell her I need to speak to Naomi.

"I will come with you, you know I will. But just until the snog part, yeah? I am a not a f*ucking voyeur." – She says, smiling at me.

Yeah, I missed Katie as well. I smile back, that may be my third real one in a month. If that's not recovery, I don't what is. It's about time Naomi smiles too, I can't even remember the last time I've seen her without that sad look on her face. Thinking about it makes me feel like I am her mom, like I have to take care of her. "That is not healthy" – I would say, and ask her what is wrong. But I know what it is that is killing her, and that is going to stop today.

Here I am again, at my new house, at our house, and I can't see Naomi anywhere and it scares me. Maybe it was too much for her? How ironic would it be that she gave up the day I decided to come back to her? How ironic it is she sleeps with someone else after she admits she loves me and not before, when she denied it? I take a deep breath, and grab Katie's hand before going upstairs. I check all the rooms until I see one with the lights on, I can see it because the door is not all closed.

I knock lightly and enter, Katie follows me. And there it is, Naomi turns away from the computer and looks at me, and I can't help but smile, just a little. That is, by far, the thing I most hate about her. Every time I see her, I fall in love with her all over again, and I always forget it until I am actually standing right in front of her and feeling like it's the first time, for the hundredth time. Nobody should be allowed to have this kind of power over you, it's not fair. The only thing that makes it almost fair is that I have the same power over her, don't I? So we just have to use it wisely, we have to start doing that right now.

"Naomi, we have to talk." – I say, looking her right in the eyes, so she knows this is for real. She looks scared, I think she believes this is going to be the end of us. Or maybe it's just because whenever I talk to her these days, I hurt her, so she is trying to figure out what I am doing know.

"Yeah. We can do that." – She answers, looking at me, looking at Katie, trying to understand what it means to have her here.

"I don't have a speech prepared or anything. There are some things I need to say, I would like you to listen to them, before answering, if that is okay." – I say this and start to play with my hands, I am nervous, I am not sure how this will turn out.

"Okay. There is no problem." – Naomi answers and smiles, I think I see some hope in there somewhere. I have to admire her, after all I've put her through recently she still waits for me like she said she would. I take a deep breath and start talking, I have to do this right.

"I am not certain I can forgive you for what you did." – Naomi's face change, she is losing hope again. I don't want this, I have to keep her here, so we can get through this already. – "Please Naoms, just hear me out before getting to any conclusions." - She gives a light nod and I continue.

"I can't forgive you because I feel like a woman who is beaten by her husband and wants to say it is okay and come back to his arms. It's not okay, it's not right what you did. And I have no reason to believe it won't happen again, even though I know how much you regret it. I don't believe it's that easy to have sex with someone, especially when you are in love with someone else, it doesn't make sense to me. I say all this, and I had sex with JJ." – I stop for a while and look straight at Naomi. We never talked about it after the ball, but I can see in her face it hurt her too, like it hurts in me what she did with Sophia. I have to explain, I have to continue.

"We were both scared in our own way when we screwed up. I was scared you were never going to acknowledge what we had and you were scared of what you felt for me. But we acted in similar ways the way I see it. Because what matters are not titles like girlfriend, wife or else, what matters is what you feel and how you act on it. If you know the one you want, you don't get involved with anyone else, until you really give up, until there is nothing left worth waiting. Right? " – I have tears in my eyes, I just feel all of what I am saying so intensely, it feels so good just putting it out there, finally. Naomi has tears in her eyes too, but she is smiling and she looks almost peaceful for the first time in a long time. Maybe she sees where I am going with this, good, I need her to make it work.

"I just can't take this, anymore. I am not saying we are even, I am not saying I trust you now, I am saying is that I can't live like this until we reach the point we can really be us again, okay? We have to figure something out, we have to start over, we have to…love each other like we have never been hurt before!" – I am really crying now, not sobbing, but I can't stop the tears from coming down nonstop, probably from the soda I drunk when I ate pizza with my family, I knew it, shouldn't have done that, f*king liquids. I smile to myself, it's going to be over soon. Now the part that matters the most. – "I am not strong enough to deal with anything else. So, can we do that, Naoms?"

She is looking at me, with her beautiful face, crying like me and smiling, like me. We are synchronized again. She laughs a little bit, out of relief I suppose. She nods in response to my question, I sigh happily, laughing a little too. Maybe our tears will stop now. Katie has some big smile on her face, even though I totally forgot about her. I clean myself the best I can and I walk one step closer to Naomi. She does the same, with a big smile, and I hug her.

"Okay, I think I hear mom calling me downstairs. See you guys later." – Katie says and leaves before I have the time to laugh at her. She closes the door on her way out and I continue to laugh a little, we stop hugging but we are still in each other arms.

"What is so funny?" – Naomi asks, always smiling now. She is so cute. Katie opens the door, she has her hands over her eyes.

"Naomi, I just have to say, you pull one of these again and…I don't have to finish my sentence do I? Yeah, I know you are scared of me, bitch." – We can see she is smiling and we do the same, she leaves and closes the door again. So I explain to Naomi.

"Oh, you know Katie. She said she would come with me, but would leave in the snog part." – I answer, smiling back at her. Her face lightens up, I guess she didn't see that one coming, she didn't believe she would have this much back so fast. I don't see why to keep us both waiting, so I move my hand to her cheek and kiss her, as gentle as I can be. She kisses me back, and I feel like life is good, after all.

I hold her face with both my hands and continue to kiss her, I need this, I've missed this. I bring her closer to me, I put one hand behind her neck and one on her back and deepen the kiss, we both need this healing. She has one hand on my hair and the other on my waist and I love this, we smile between kisses and pull each other closer every time.

I slowly break apart the kiss without pulling away from her, we have our mouths red and we are both a little out of breath, I laugh at this. I sigh because this moment brings me so much peace, I can't hardly believe it. I have to say something, I have to make her understand. Before I say anything, Naomi speaks:

"Jesus, I've missed us." – She says, while caressing my cheek.

"Who hasn't? We are great together, we should have a fan base."- I say to her and she smiles to me.

"I couldn't agree more. We would be called Naomily." - She says and as I am leaning towards her I pull away again, totally shocked by what she said.

"Ha, so typical of you. Why should your name come first? We would be called Emiomi, obviously." - I say and laugh. She puts on her lovely mocking face and says.

"Isn't that Harry Potter's girlfriend?" – I open my mouth in disbelief until it hits me, she is really messing with me, she knows Ron and Hermione are one of my favorite couples. We are almost us again, or at least we are heading that direction faster and faster every time. I laugh back at her and start to kiss her again, I start to pull us to our bed, after all, there is one last thing we need to do. I thought I could wait, but as it turns out, I just don't want to. As we crash on the bed, her on top of me, she puts her hand on my cheek, breaks apart from me and says:

"I love you, Ems." – I almost forgot how I needed to hear that. It's like the most powerful song in the world, it always bring the best out of me. I smile, I just can't stop smiling.

"I love you too. Let's just not do anything that might make any of us doubt that, okay?" – I answer, kissing her hand and trying to pull her towards me again, she resists.

"Okay. Ah, by the way, since I got your attention, you're absolutely gorgeous." – She says grinning and biting her lip.

"Yeah, I know. It´s a shame you´re so ugly tough. Now, come here." – I say, just to see her face of disbelief. I pull her down before she can reply.


End file.
